A tale of miscommunication and my list of T&F "usted"

T&F you

The last week has taught me how much we truly take for granted when we live in our home country.  Not only do we have our comfort zone completely established and constantly communicate in a language where we don't have to worry about the possibility of saying something completely faux pas simply because you don't have a full grasp of the language, or even if you have researched the word, local interpretations can leave you in an awkward situation.  In the last few days I have had some interesting which have allowed me to create a list of T's and F's (the astute reader will understand what I am meaning here... if you are however immediate family please don't).

T - The helpful sales agent from Paris helped me choose a coffee table for my living room and organise it to be delivered.  He went out of his way to give me a hand, and hopefully it should be delivered this afternoon!

F - The equally unhelpful Paris assistants from the liquor section, when I said "abrir mi cerveza" and then acted out on a beer me trying to use a bottle opener on a beer they looked at me and laughed, and said "No!”  Me refusing to believe that the alcohol section wouldn't have a bottle opener went looking further and ended up finding some.  When I took it back to the counter (I decided on one of the waiter’s friends) they tried to tell me it wasn't for a cerveza, only wine.... I really do see where the dumb blonde stereotype comes from... 

F - Google Translate - firstly, I don't know how the second one of these occurred I have checked back repeatedly and haven't been able to replicate it, but nonetheless I have to give Google translate the proverbial finger for giving me some dicey moments.  Two of which came in the following conversation over the sametime messaging system at work.  (For some context I am having some friends around for dinner tonight.  The actual Spanish conversation is first, what I intended is then in Brackets.  Below is what the actual conversation read.)

Conversation and what I intended.

Colleague: todavia va el asado del viernes? (Is the BBQ still happening on Friday?)   

Me: Si, Soy excitado! (Yes, I am excited!)

Colleague: jajaja.  La palabra excitado no es la usaste mal, pero se usa mas para temes sexuales.  Aqui debes usar emocionado. (that word does mean excited, but is more commonly used to mean in the sexual context.  Here you must used "emocionado")

Me: jajaja, mi entiende, Soy muy embarazado! (hahaha, I understand!  I am very embarrassed)

Colleague: jajajaja

Actual Translated Conversation:

Colleague: Is the BBQ still happening on Friday?   

Me: Yes, I am horny!

Colleague:  hahaha That word does mean excited, but is more commonly used to mean in the sexual context.  Here you must used "emocionado"

Me: hahaha, I understand!  I am very pregnant.

Colleague: hahahaha

So Google translate I am extremely grateful I told a colleague I have had lunch with once and met twice that I am not only a sex fiend but will be the second man to give birth! (on a side note, does anybody know why when I look up a word one day and have to check it again the following day it can yield different results?)

T - Google Translate, having disparaged it in the previous comment it has really been fantastic and I have two windows open with a Spanish - English and an Inglés a Español version of it to help me find words which I have no idea about.  It has sped my vocabulary learning up significantly, and it would be much more difficult to get by in the office without it.

T - The AFL - it looks like I will be able to watch AFL games through lifeafl.tv for us plebs in Latin America 5 Live games and 3 delayed games per week.  Yeahyeahyeah!  I also have dreamteam to keep me sane!

F - The bus driver who despite me pressing the button to get off at Plaza Egaña last night drove straight through it and refused to stop until the next stop.  800m along a poorly lit road was exactly what I felt like after losing my game last night (most of you will know how grumpy I am when I lose anyway!).

F - The Chilean government, it was decided two weeks ago to extend daylight savings, a good decision really, it means that we can enjoy the beautiful weather more for the next two weeks.  What it did do though was mean that all "smart" devices changed times on us on Sunday night.  It meant that planes were missed, meetings screwed up due to the computers not handling it, and most of all made me late for footy training. Sorry lads!!

So tonight I have some colleagues from work coming around for a BBQ at my place, I need to give it a bit of a tidy before they arrive.  I have organised it quite early (well by Chilean standards anyway) and so people are getting there between 9 and 10pm, so I have plenty of time to get ready!  Then I want to have a wander around the city for the rest of the weekend, probably go to the Los Dominicos markets tomorrow and just generally relax.  A kick of the footy on Sunday will give me my Australian fix.

Looking forward to 5am next Friday for the AFL season kick off.  Let’s hope it lasts longer than the last time I had some optimism about the AFL season.  From memory, halfway into the second quarter the coach was doomed and we were down by 9 goals.

Eat 'em alive Tiges!!

Risk vs Reward

The concept of Risk vs Reward is a well understood one, the more you are generally prepared to put on the line, the more you gain.  For example, blasting out Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen in your boardies rocking out the air guitar in your apartment might seem relatively low risk, but the satisfaction of knocking down a power stroke to the end of one of the greatest guitar solos appears to be high reward in comarison!!
Now consider the job of painting the outside of an apartment block, a well secured lift, a nice and quiet job outdoors in beautiful weather with fantastic views seems another of those reasonablly imbalanced scenarios.  Now combine them... I'm reasonably confident that tomorrows greeting of "Buenes dias, ¿Como Estas? will be made with no eye contact.

On a more serious note, I have been finding the last few days relatively difficult.  My spanish is coming along in leaps and bounds, but its basically exhausting to be constantly around a language where you need to be continuously concentrating just to survive.  I have been finding that I am requireing a lot more sleep and that naps are becoming a native part of my day, as soon as I get home from work I have a brief kip so I can recharge the batteries.
The other thing I have been struggling with is not being able to get in on jokes.  You are having a conversation, and I am doing my utmost to keep up with everybody and all of a sudden everybody is laughing.  Even if I do understand whats being said, I mightn't pick up on why its funny - the Graduate Program here is called "Jovenes Talentos" directly translating to Young Talent.  However, if you put the emPHAsis on a slightly different syLLAble it can become "Joven esta Lentos" which translates to Young is Slow.  When this comment was made, only the gringo didn't laugh, at least my cubiclemate was patient enough to explain it to me!

Anyway as difficult as the last few days have been, they have also been some of the most rewarding.  I have personally achieved quite a deal, successfully navigating my way around Santiago on the Metro, performing well above my rating in a Blitz Tournament (including beating the current Chilean champion), conversing for several minutes with complete strangers and having over half my meeting today in Spanish.  Its been fantastically rewarding and right now the only feeling I have more of than exhaustion is pride. 

I am extremely fortunate to be in the position I am, and am feeling like I am well ahead of schedule in what I am expecting to achieve here.  Looking forward to friday night, having a few of my Jovenos Talentos amigos around for an Asado and a few cervazas.

As for now, I think an early night is in store.  But first I must finish watching Jason Statham going nuts in The Expendables as him, Stalone, Bruce Willis and the crazy electrical dude out of Ironman 2 go all commando in Cuba!

Peace!

Did you know Pacman was originally named Pucman - an Ode to the Santiago Metro

Don't you just hate the feeling when you are standing there at the train station, hoping that the train will arrive at when the timetable promises.  As the clock contunies to tick, you suddenly realise that the train was meant to arrive 5 minutes ago and that, always the public transport system has let you down.  Not only does this automatically mean that you are going to be late, but also that you are invariably going to miss your connection and more than likely sit next to one of the following, an overly talkative nana, a fat guy with horrible BO  (especially for 8 in the morning), somebody listening to Delta Goodrem, The Spice Girls or Katy Perry at a rediculous level on their iPod or an emtpy (this option generally applies if you fit into one of the previous categories).

Well, in Santiago this situation isn't a problem.  It could be that over here, nobody has heard of Delta Goodrem, nobody likes the Spicegirls and Katy Perrys filmclips are watched, but not listened to.  It could also be that nana's give up on talking to me when they realise my Spanish is not sufficient to maintain a conversation when they speak at 600 words per second.  Primarily though, its because ths Santiago trains like clockwork.  Here, trains seem to appear every 5 minutes, and connections are so simple - you follow the signs leading to the next platform and bingo a a train rocks up to the station.  When you get on its also pleasant to note that the guy who sits next to you doesn't have a BO problem.

The well coordinated system really puts anything I have experience in Australia to shame, and to be honest its rather embarrasing that a system which services six million people is able to run on time so much more efficiently than a system in Adelaide which ensures that its population of around a million people are, on an almost daily basis late to work, school or university.  It really provides some food for thought, and I honestly hope that the people from AdelaideMetro are reading this - it is possible to have a public transport system that runs on time!

Anyway ladies and gentlemen, its almost midnight here - and more importantly Scott Pilgim vs. The World is nearly finished.  I don't precisely know what that means, as I can't say I have fully understood everything that has happened.... although points flashing on the screen and people exploding into penny's has been a remarkably entertaining movie I highly recommend it.

Tomorrow I have Sainters practise in the morning and will hopefully not meet any girls with a large number of crazy ex's who I must defeat in mortal combat!

Chao Amigos!!

When life gives you lemons, make a fruit salad

I apologise in advance, there is every likelihood that this post will be slightly boring.  I needed to do some shopping yesterday, so after work I took a leisurely stroll across Parque Araucano, saying Buenos Tardes to my friendly Compleato vendor from whom I got my daily Agua con gas.  I hopped into Tottus, a supermarket which I don't think really has a parallel in Australia - you can buy your groceries and a Television in within 10 metres, and on the other side of the store you can pick up an anorak whilst doing your booze shopping (speaking of alcohol, at 2000 pesos a 6 pack, and at 7% alcohol, there is a fiscally responsible argument against sobriety here!). 
As the previous point would suggest that I immediately ventured to the right of the store and grabbed myself a six-pack of Cristal before heading to do the electronics section so I could grab some fruit and veges.  The fruit here is of extremely high quality and so I grabbed myself a variety apples, oranges and stone fruit - all at significantly under the price I would have paid back home.  For example, I paid 800 pesos each (about $1.80) for a punnet of strawberries and raspberries, around 1500 pesos/kg for apples and around 1300 pesos for a tub of Streets peppermint chip icecream.  Hellz yeah!

Afterwards, I spent the evening cooking, cleaning and watching some of the DVD's of my favourite TV shows that I brought across with me.  Genius gets bandied around alot these days, but having said that I really feel that Hugh Laurie does not get anywhere near enough credit for the comic legend he is.  Seeing Hugh play Dr. House raises a few questions - firstly does the younger generation realise what they are missing out on not having seen Black Adder?  Secondly, why on earth did I stop watching House in the first place??  His ability to play a sarcastic, drug addicted narcissist who also happens to be an incredibly gifted diagnostician is spectacular and provided me with a few good few hours entertainment before I switched to Two and A Half men.  Normally I don't enjoy reality TV, but watching a series of drunken sexual adventures resulting in nothing worse than a hangover and a wardrobe full of absolutely terrible bowling shirts.  Unfortunately, now it appears that its not only Charlie Harpers mother who is disappointed in him - I'm clearly going to have to fill the spare time vacated by two dysfunctional men, a kid and a bunch of alimony jokes by watching the Cleveland show.... and that's just not good for anyone!

Anyway its midnight here, and unfortunately for me I have a medical first thing in the morning to prove that I am going to be able to breathe at altitude, so must vamoose.  I hope you are all going well, chuck me a comment and let me know how you are!

Hasta Luego Senores and Senoritas!

The internet is really really great!

As my favourite song from Avenue Q begins... "The internet is really really great".  I finally have the internet established in my apartment and am able to surf the net without piggybacking off the dodgy public wifi which is available on a 1 sq. ft. that floats around my bedroom.  The vtr extreme package has been recently upgraded to have full HD cable TV and 40Mbps internet, I really don't know how I can possibly utilise it, but I certainly plan on giving it my best shot.

Tonight after the vtr guy left, I spent a good 45 minutes flicking through channels, watching the various Chilean sitcoms and soap dramas which were on at least 10 channels.  Honestly I am probably glad that I didn't understand all that was being said, because it in all likelihood saved many of my braincells fleeing out of my ear to avoid the cruel and unusual punishment that is associated with watching acting which would be embarrassing in the adult entertainment industry.  Nonetheless it is great watching familiar shows and using the espanol subtitles to assist me in continuing to grow my vocabulary.  For instance, did you know that the phrase "With money, anything is possible" is sometimes translated to "Con el dinero baila el perro" (which directly translates to "With money the dog will dance").  Not that it makes an ounce of sense, just interesting.  I am going to try and include some humourous Spanish phrases across the posts as I come across them.

Anyway now my internet is sufficient to post something other than a text based post, I am going to attach some photos of the view from my apartment.  For those who are interested, the building with the yellow band at the top was originally going to be the tallest building in South America.  Unfortunately, the global financial crisis put a stop to its development and now a building in Panama will be the tallest building in the Americas south of the equator.
Hmmmmm, I really do seem to make a habit of bridging (not a prison reference).

Buenes Noches Amigos!

A story of homesickness, angry taxi drivers, equinian value and When the Saints go Marching In!

So today has been the first day since I arrived where I have had any semblance of homesickness, and whilst it has been by no means severe it has meant that I have been on something of an emotional rollercoaster this afternoon.  The day started by meeting a bunch of new people as I attended the first training for the year of the Santiago Saints, South America's most successful football team!  It was an interesting session with the number of locals exceeding the number of Aussie expats.  Ball skills as always were a touch rusty as you would expect for the first session back, but there is a significant amount of promise in the group, and the social side of having a post training brew makes it a great start to Domingo.

After running home, I threw myself through the shower before heading to Parque Arauco so that I could stock up my wardrobe, fridge and get the relevant electronics for my computer and home theatre system.  Chile is quite a proud country, actually I have noticed thus far that Latin Americans as a whole are extremely patriotic and especially vocal about it.  I am a proud Australian, and I love my country - however I don't actively express it anywhere near as much as they do here in Latin America (or perhaps as much as I probably should do really!).  Here, Chile is the best country, whilst on the plane across here I sat next to a lovely Peruvian chap who was adamant that Peru, Peruvian food, Peruvian women etc were the best in the world. 
This pride goes hand in hand with fashion, and Chileans are rather careful about the way they dress.  Brand labels are rather important and being seen wearing large fashion brands is well respected, particularly those which have some sort of connection with animals.  Ralph Polo Lauren, Lacoste and La Martina Saddlery are all extremely popular, along with Hugo Boss, Tommy Hilfiger, Armani Exchange and Calving Klein.  Nothing really different there, back home they are popular brands also, the thing that struck me is just how many people wear them, and how there are several outlets for each of these in all the major shopping centres.  These clothes are status symbols, and it seems to be important to wear them.  I got some interesting (maybe a slightly PC way of saying disparaging) looks walking through these fashion stores wearing boardies, a Richmond polo and a pair of thongs.

After finishing acting on Robin Sparkles wishes of Going to the Mall.... today! I went to catch a taxi home from the shops, laden with all my new items to finish setting up the apartment I put it all in the boot and got in the car.  "Yo voy para Pio XI por favor" I said with a smile.  "Es una y medio kilometro" pointing he says.  "Si" I reply, "Es una y medio kilometro" he yells.  "Si, final de calle, direcho."  I then had the one form of cursing I know in Spanish "Puta Madre Gringo" (if you're under 18, don't google that!) before taking off and saying that the fare was going to be "dos mil pesos" (2000 pesos, the equivalent of $4). It should be around 1000 pesos and I managed to negotiate it to 1300, so by no means the end of the world, just an interesting experience where the ability to moot in Spanish would have been highly valuable.

I guess what this post is trying to say is that homesickness is a combination of forking out money for expensive fashion brands, kicking a football for the first time in several years and really missing the ability to curse effectively at people.  I guess that there is probably some small amount due to missing family and friends so, to those of you out there who are reading this, I miss you all.  To those of you whom I don't know, I hope my sentimentality doesn't make you feel too excluded.

¿Cómo dice "Slow the Hell Down" en español?

Santiago is a beautiful place.  The views from my 13th floor apartment show a sporting field, some fantastic architecture along with some small hills (I must point out here that it is the locals who decribe these as small.  In Australia we would be quite proud of these!!)  Chilling out on the balcony looking out across Las Condes in the evenings, enjoying a stubbie of Cristal before doing my various nocturnal activities has been amazing.  .  These views however, no matter how stunning have nothing on the views from a Santiago taxi.  I have discovered in the last 48 hours that any view, even if it is of the speedo of a Hyundai Excel pushing 140km/hr is absolutely wonderful if you truly believe it is the last thing you are ever going to see.  I had completed my shopping and was catching a taxi home from the shopping centre at Parque Arauco when my extremely friendly taxisto decided to try and set the land speed record in a moderately well maintained vehicle that felt like the wolf would have only needed one puff to blow it down.  Honestly, I think the only person in history who was less safe doing those sort of speeds was Burt Monroe - at least I didn't have to take a collection to pay the fare!!

Aside from near death experiences I am loving it here.  Everyone in the office is really friendly, and my Spanish is rapidly improving.  On Sunday, the Santiago Saints have their first training session for the year, and I am greatly looking forward to having a "kick with the lads" something which I haven't done in several years!  Aside from that, I'll just be finishing setting the apartment and getting acquainted with Las Condes.  Hopefully the next update will have some interesting stories and be posted using a stable internet connection.

Que Tengaman un buen fin del semana!