Monday 11 July 2011

Cause? There is no cause for this. What cause?

One of my favourite scenes from a movie is the scene in the Matrix Reloaded, when they meet the Merovingian and discuss finding the Keymaker.  The Merovingian discusses his love for everything French, the wine, the language (in particular how sexy it is to curse in French), and proceeds to go on a philosophical rant about causality.   After having watched the movie recently, it made me ponder further the concept of causality, and specifically choices which I have made throughout my life, and some critical momentswhich have strongly influenced where I am now.

If I was to travel back in time 10 years, to when I was 15 years old, have a chat to myself and tell him/me that most of my closest friends are chess players, that to this day I continue to study chess, and that I travel a lot to play in tournamnets, I'm sure that the younger me would think that my life had taken a majorly wrong turn somewhere along the line.  The truth is, that nothing could be further from the truth... The fact is that I am extremely happy, and through Chess I have had numerous wonderful experiences and a large portion of my precious memories have come through chess tournaments or with friends I have made through chess.  I am extremely lucky to have had a hobby play such a big part in my life for as long as I have, and for it to have had such a profound influence on me.  But the question I asked myself, how did I actually get to this point?

My mum tells me that she taught me to play chess at a young age, but (sorry mum) unfortunately I don't remember it.  In fact, my first memory of Chess was when I was in primary school, and had been on the receiving end of regular kickings by my classmates in the schoolyard.  One day, the school principle came and grabbed me and said he would like to show me something in the school library.  He took me into the "restricted" section of the library - normally (from memory) it was where the teachers would take select groups from classes to watch documentaries, etc.  Anyway, it turned out that at lunchtimes on some days the chess club met to practice.  I played the school board number 1, and although I was relatively soundly beaten I remember bragging afterwards that I captured three "prawns".  I was then allowed to play another relative newby and was able to win, and thus was my addiction born.  To me, this is the first of what I believe are the critical moments in my life - I went on to become absolutely infatuated with the intricacies of chess and went on to play at a high level for my school team, and later in several junior national championships.  I was extremely fortunate to have the parents which I did, where I was given unending support, never wanting for anything (outside of a structured program that wasn't available in SA) in my chess development... and most importantly, they never put the same pressure on me which I have seen, and continue to see applied to chess kids these days.  I am forever grateful that I never needed to play chess, or needed to play well, and at all times have been allowed to play the game purely because I love it.

The second of these turning points came in late 1997 - I had gone through a series of ravens tests, literature reviews, mathematical tests and interviews as part of the applications for the SHIP program.  I remember vividly one morning, my parents sat me down on the couch, and all serious said "Tristan, we need to speak to you about something".  I had no idea what was going on, and remember thinking that there was something seriously wrong - a family member was sick, I was in serious trouble, Matthew Richardson was retiring.  My parents, however couldn't control their excitement for too long and told me that I had been accepted into the program, and I would be starting at Glenunga the following year - the feeling of excitement which I felt is still one of the biggest highs of my life.  The opportunity to be in a class full of Students with High Intellectual Potential was extremely exciting, however looking back on it - I am undecided on the merits of the idea.   Whilst my academic education never wanted for anything, and I was continuously intellectually challenged, the idea of putting a group of intellectually gifted, yet mostly socially lacking children into the same classroom tends to leave some rather large emotional gaps.  I was fortunate in that I was able to kill a couple of years at the end of high-school to allow my emotional development to catch up a touch before I headed to University.  Whilst I don't think, given hindsight, I would repeat the acceleration of high-school (certainly not to the same extent) I made some wonderful friends along the way, had some fantastic experiences, and who knows how my life would have been without the opportunity I was afforded.
During highschool my chess interest had waned, and was basically only playing school chess when in 2003 the school team won the state championship.  As a result I ended up going to Brisbane and playing for Glenunga at the national championships, where I had life-changing-moment number 3.  I met two guys, who I thought at the time were nice enough, but certainly didn't anticipate how integral they would end up being to my life.  These two young gentlemen were playing board 1 also for their respective states (Queensland and the ACT) and both gave me rather sizeable pastings.  I remember that after my game against Dave, during the analysis he told me that I should go to Sydney to play in the Australian Juniors.  Unfortunately, this didn't end up happening, however this tournament was the inspiration for me to returning seriously to the Chess scene.  Once again, something which in the grand scheme of things seems to be a relatively insignificant event, I didn't win, no amazing event, yet without it, few years later in Dave Fitzy and would not have ended up being the good friends that we are, and my life would have been all the poorer for of it.

Each of these moments have had significant flow-on affects to my life, and are part of the river that is my life.  I have found it fascinating, speculating about what would have happened if any of these potential forks had been different, the possibilities really are endless as to how my life could have evolved if the school didn't have a chess team, or the principle didn't introduce me to it etc.  Ultimately however, I do know that if any of these moments were removed from my life, my life would be significantly poorer for the absence of any of the experiences I have had and friends I have made.

The final moment I have decided has been critical to my life is a lot more recent - the phone call telling me I was being offered the job here in Chile.  There is no way I can not include this in the list of moments which have had a defining influence in my life, and I am extremely excited about what I am going to attribute to it in 5 years time when I look back on it.  Given the way this experience has shaped me already in the first four months, I have this feeling that there is no way for me to possibly predict where I will be when I review it in 5 years time.... I do know I am looking forward to the journey!